Oh how I wonder...

It's interesting to me that in extreme times one find out how evil or devious one can become when needed (or wanted). Also when you something so treasured could be taken away, one can become so frantic and obsene with furry and worry. and then all at the same moment, feelings can cease for a while and things are normal. The mind is a wonderful and freaky thing. I wish I had more control of my universe. Could that ever be possible. I guess hope keeps me going. Experience is what you get when you don't get what you want. Shit I have a whole lot of experience. ;)

Sometimes it seems like nothing can get done unless I'm alone. Yet, when I'm alone I don't want to do shit, so all in all, nothing ever gets done. Is this because I'm getting older, or cuz I have too much on my plate? Is screaming and running through my world going to solve anything? It might make me feel better! Fuck... a whole lot better. Everyone would understand, right? Or, let's see, I could slam my car into the fucking retard in front me who doesn't know what the god damn speed limit is. That would feel incredible. I guess, I have to follow the rules like everyone else, until someone sends me over the limit... hmm who will it be? Until then, I'll just show up to work early and have my 30 minutes of peace and quiet. And anyone who calls in sick better be real close to me and call me on my cell, cuz I'm not picking up the fucking work phone until 7am. Just cuz everyone knows I'm here, doesn't mean I'm working. So suck my dick. Holla ;) (It's Friday the 13th... maybe that's why I'm a little off).

My first... my first

Sometimes I think my mind leaves my body and doesn't understand what the fuck is going on. Especially when intoxicated! ;)